I am not that great at making lists but while Adam and I were visiting his sister last December I had been talking about doing a blog about blunders that I have done since I have become a yaussiechick. I know I want to make a top ten list but I don’t think I have done too bad since I have immigrated to Australia. I know in my early days I could be forgiven for my blunders but there are only 3 that I find truly embarrassing.
Growing up in the United States, I had been used to keeping to the right and sitting when driving on the left side of the car. After I had stepped off the plane for good when we lived in Homebush Adam and I would take the train to Burwood to do shopping at the Westfield’s. I was so excited to do a big grocery shop but didn’t have a car so we decided to take a cab back with the groceries. Adam told me where the taxi rank was. We go there and I am looking for a cab. I see lots of passengers but no drivers. I see the cab pull out but there is no driver and I say very astonished to Adam I don’t understand how that taxi is moving with out a driver. There is a passenger but no driver. He explained to me that it was the driver not the passenger. I want to die or be swallowed whole by the Earth because of that mistake. Adam ever the patient when it comes to me, prompts me to look again at the cab rank. I move us to another waiting and we take the cab home while I ponder how silly I can be. I could be excused for still suffering from jet lag but honestly, that is pretty lame!
My second blunder which I am revealing to you happened a few years ago when Adam and I first went to go see Hedonna’s and John’s investment property in Coolangatta. We were very happy to stay at Tondio Terrace because of its close proximity to the beach. John had gone to do something as he was giving us a tour of the area. I turned to Adam and said I wish you could see this. It’s so lovely and isn’t that Brisbane across the bay. He proceeded to explain that no, it wasn’t Brisbane; it was actually Surfers Paradise or the Gold Coast. Again, I wanted the Earth to swallow me whole. How could I have made such a huge mistake? I had been living in Australia for almost 6 years when I did this blunder. I know I hadn’t driven to Brisbane yet but still I guess I should have known better.
The top blunder though that I have made in Australia by far can not be outdone. I have mentioned it previously before in one of my earlier blogs entitled Humorous Double Meanings but it’s a real beauty. I don’t think I have ever been so embarrassed in my life. I will give you a recap just encase you haven’t read it yet. We have to go way back to 2003 when I was very new to Australia. I hadn’t gotten my Australian driver’s licence yet. We travelled everywhere by train. I don’t like crowded beaches in Sydney so we took the Illawarra Line to Thirroul. It was an easy walk from the station to the beach. Adam and I were just walking when he said matter of factly Oh that’s a huge truck I can hear. I shot back, “My fanny that’s not a truck that’s the ocean.” “What did you just say?” I shouted back very loudly, “My FANNY! My bottom, my derrière, my butt! That’s the ocean.” There were little kids walking with us and some teenagers too. Adam whispered to me, “Do you know what you just said?” “I just yelled it out again didn’t I?” I retorted all bluster. He very coolly responded back to my vicious retort very discreetly, “Fanny means this.” And he pointed towards my crotch. “Think about what we call bum bags? We never call them fanny packs like you yanks do!” I am not sure when my regular colouring returned to my face but I can assure you, I have never shouted out that word in Australian public since.
This is my 100th published blog on this site. I hope you enjoyed the revelation. If you are thinking of coming to see Coolangatta, Queensland and are looking for great accommodation that is close to the beach may I suggest you check out: http://www.goldcoastrainbowbay.com/index.html
Have you ever made any blunders as bad as mine???
This beautiful frothy cider was delicious but did you know that I had been confused about what exactly the order of ordering sizes of drinks were. I have been living in Australia for almost 12 years now. I have been foolish and never thought to ask about the way to order different sizes of drinks at the pub because I am not a huge ale drinker. Yesterday while Adam and I were at Moonee Beach Tavern I decided to order a pint of cider because it was on tap. I assumed that a pint was the smallest but I was wrong. At least I didn’t have to go up to the bar again. The pint lasted me the entirety of our visit for lunch. I asked Adam who suggested that I call our friend Hemmo (Mark Hemmings) because he was a beer connoisseur. I texted him my question, He called me back with the answer. I can’t remember the exact ounces like he gave me but I now know the order of sizes. It goes middies, schooner, pint. I was silly enough to think it went the other way. I am not a huge drinker so Adam and Mark both forgave my ignorance.
When I lived in the states I never went up to the bar and ordered a mug of beer. Adam asked me what I did and I responded,”I just ordered a coke or water, or something with spirits in it.” I am not exactly what you would say if you were to go up to a bar to order beer in the states. Some of the guys that I met at a bar would just order a pitcher of beer . If any man or woman who knows the correct terminology of ordering a beer at a US bar could you please fill me in.
One of the most wonderful things about where I live is that the weather here is so good. I have heard that the Coffs Coast is one of the most habitable places climate wise. I happen to agree with that sentiment. I also like the fact that where I live is pretty rural but I can drive to two regional areas in less than an hour. I am close to the beach and can see beautiful mountains in the distance that aren’t snow-capped but full of eucalyptus trees. One day I am going to drive the Waterfall Way again in hopes of doing an audio blog on Dorrigo National Park. This is on Adam’s and my to do list but today we decided to do our usual walk of sorts.
Today’s adventure took us down to Mullaway beach. We walked the entirety of the beach. Along the way, Grady will forage for sticks for me to throw just for him. Mitch and Lenny will head in the surf or they will go bush bashing then run into surf with their treasure of decaying sponge or something foul-smelling. I am forever yelling furiously at them to drop it and leave it alone. The joys of owning labradors gives just disgust at times. Grady proceeded as usual to drop a stick which Adam trod on and I tripped on. Adam let go of me. I went forward spilling to the ground not taking him with me. Adam was not impressed with Grady. I wasn’t really either but that’s just the way it goes at times. It’s not like I am a clumsy sort of person. It can be a bit daunting though being the only eyes of the operation. I was thankful Adam had let me go because frankly if he had gone down with me, we both could have gotten hurt. Other than that, the walk was really nice.
I decided to walk us up over Mullaway Headland and took a couple of pictures to share with you. This shows a view of Mullaway beach heading over towards cabins beach. The name of the headland on the far side is Oceanview Headland. There is a walking path there that takes you to Mullawarra.
This is a view of Cabins Beach which we often walk to as well. There are two set of rock pools. We normally like to go to Cabins Beach at low tide to wallow in the shallow water of the south rock pool. There is also a path that takes you to the top of Darkum Headland. We didn’t do that walk today because I wasn’t so happy about the fall that happened. Woolgoolga is the town that you can see in the left corner of the shot. There has been quite a bit of beach erosion on most of the beaches.
Today as we were walking I noticed how the waves were making this really beautiful spray. I tried to take a shot to share with you. I didn’t think I had accomplished what I wanted to do but I actually did. I swear you could see rainbows but the camera didn’t capture it. I still think it’s quite lovely though.
In this shot, you can see Woolgoolga better but I really was happy with the water spray. I was pretty pleased with myself. Next time we go out, I don’t think we will take the boys (dogs) with us because their panting gets picked up when I am trying to capture the sound of the birds on our walks.
I don’t mean to brag about the wonderful place I call home but I do take pride in the beauty that I get to experience every day. I am truly one very blessed lady!
What do you think of when I say on the game?
I’ll never forget the expression a co-worker had when I was working at the Equipment Resource Centre asked me what I was doing on the weekend and I replied, “Oh I was on the game.” I then explained that I had been playing Everquest with my sister in the United States. I had only been in Australia for just over a year and was still getting used to the double meanings certain sayings had. When I got home that evening, I told Adam about the reaction I had from my co-worker. He then explained to me my faux pas. My husband explained to me why my co-worked had such a shocked expression. She thought I was saying that I was a prostitute. I was meaning that I was gaming online.
Another funny thing that has happened to me was when I was on the phone with a man whom Adam knew as a child in Canberra. I was talking to him on the phone and was saying I was so pissed. The man started laughing as if I said the most funniest thing. Adam is saying in the background, “pissed off say you’re pissed off.”
I then clarify the situation, I was so pissed off. Apparently being pissed is another way of saying you are drunk in Australia.
The most classic as well as most embarrassing double meaning of a word is fanny. I have to say when I blurted this one out, I wished the world had swallowed me whole. Shall I let you all in on my huge blooper? Of course I will.
This happened one time before I had even gotten my driver’s license so it was also within the first or second year time frame of my arrival to Australia permanently. We were living in an inner western suburb of Sydney. Since Adam is blind, we get free travel on the train, bus, and ferry network in NSW. We wanted to go to the beach but I hated the idea of going to Bondi or Maroubra because it was so crowded. We decided to take a train to Thirroul because it is not as crowded. The ride took about an hour. I am walking us down toward the beach. Adam pipes up, “Are we going by a huge truck? I can hear it’s engine.” I respond in a quite heated yell, “My fanny, that’s the ocean!” “What did you say?” I replied all the louder so that the entire neighbourhood would hear. “MY FANNY! MY BUM! MY BUTT! MY POSTERIOR! It’s the ocean!”
Adam smiles cheekily. “Di, do you know what fanny means here in Australia.” “I just told you didn’t I?” He points down below to my crotch. I am turning three shades of red. There are children around us walking towards the beach as well. They are laughing and snickering. Thank goodness I still have my American accent so I can get away with my big blunder.
Even though Australians speak English the meanings can be quite different. I gave you three great examples but my most favorite one has to be the last I gave.
Now I am the one doing more explaining of what I am saying to friends and family back in the states but every once in a while, Adam or his best mate, Mick, will educate me on the Australian lingo that I haven’t gotten a handle of. Hey, Michael Scott, when you heading back to Coffs Harbour to continue my education in double meanings?