Monthly Archives: May 2013
To say I am floating on cloud 9 is a bit of an understatement. I really can’t go into a lot of details about this but I am really pleased with something that I got to experience with Adam, Lenny, and Guide Dog Instructor Doug Ritchie. In previous posts I have tried to convey how frustrated I have been with Lenny’s dog distraction. I felt pretty inept about trying to help both my hubby and his guide dog in these sorts of situations. Today though, I feel so empowered. It wasn’t anything earth shattering but Doug gave me some great tools to help my hubby and Lenny work together better as a team. It’s still a long road ahead for them. I am sure though if we all work as a team that we will be victorious.
You can learn so much sometimes just through the power of observation. It was terrific getting feedback from an expert. We aren’t sure if this will cure Lenny with his dog distraction but I feel better equipped when we come across the situation. I am sure that Adam in time will also feel more in control of the situation as we all use techniques that were shown to us.
We won’t be able to walk all the dogs together because it will make another dynamic for Lenny. Until we have a better idea of how to help Lenny and ourselves cope with the dogs, Mitch and Grady will have to be walked separately. I am also toying with the idea of trying some of the techniques on our own pets for behaviours that I want to instill in them. I think I will get more fit from all the walking we will be doing which is a great added bonus. It’s going to be very interesting.
I always think to myself that sometimes it’s the little things that makes me the most happy. Today it was a little thing that made me feel empowered. I hope that you will find a little something that will empower you as well.
I will keep you updated through the blog about the dog distraction results as we progress.
Kozo has put out a really wonderful peace challenge for the month wanting people to express themselves about creating peace at home. I find myself wanting to do at least one peace blog a month now. He has put out many great suggestions as to how to do the post that he is wanting us to share. I do have a song that I wrote and sung in collaboration with a really talented musician but I am not going to put that into this blog. I was wanting to share it later on towards the end of June for my anniversary of marriage to Adam which I will do. I mention this as a teaser of sorts because I feel that love is one of the best motivators for peace in our lives. Today’s blog is going to be a sort of advice column on the 5 things that I think make a peaceful relationship and 4 things to do to become a better partner. The five things that I want to share all go hand in hand. The order of importance can change depending on the situation. I sat down, put my thinking cap on, and these were the top five things I thought were most important in making a peaceful relationship.
- Effective Communication How can you have a relationship with someone if you are not speaking to them? If you are speaking with them and speaking over them is this effective communication? I certainly don’t think that is what effective communication is about. Debate can be very good and healthy in a relationship but you must know when it is best to do my next suggestion of my top 5 list which is:
- Compromise In a relationship one of the best things to know is when to compromise on a situation. You are standing at a crossroad and don’t know where to go. The other person might not see things exactly as you do but you want to do the better of two evils or goods what ever you case maybe. Together you two might be able to compromise on a situation creating a solution which is sound and valid.
- Trust Trust is something that is so hard to gain once it is lost but easy to gain and keep if you follow my next thing on my list which is:
- Honesty Why should someone trust you if you can not be honest with them? One of the things that I strive to do in my relationships is to be honest and trustworthy. If you end up lying constantly or neglecting to tell some one the entire story, you will end up underpinning one of the key foundations in a relationship and that is trust. You would be wiser to be honest because there is no need to keep up the lies if you are honest with the person in the first place. Surely you would want the person you are in relationship with to treat you with honesty because that is the way you want to be treated.
- Selflessness Now you may not agree with me on this one, but I find that trying to be selfless is one of the most effective ways to create peace in a relationship. You might be thinking I am a bit insane but I stand by what I say. I truly feel that being selfless with someone you are in a relationship with is so rewarding because you are seeking to put them above yourself. I am not saying be a doormat. There are times when you must be able to stand up for yourself but if the relationship is working towards the same goal it’s not very likely that you are going to be used as a doormat. It’s more likely that the person you are in relationship values you and wants to keep you in their life.
I truly feel that these 5 things can make a peaceful relationship. If you were to look at some of the great minds of our time you will see these 5 qualities in them. The people I think who give wonderful examples of living this way are Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, and the Dalai Lama. I have come across people in my own life that have instilled these beliefs in myself. I would cite my own mother who looked to God because in He is the greatest example of all. My husband is another person who I feel lives by these 5 things.
Now for the top 4 things to do to become a better partner which I think are essential and go hand in hand with each other as well as with perfecting peace in relationships.
- Listen Sometimes the person only wants you to listen to what they are saying. They are not expecting you to create the solution they just need a sounding board. I have noticed this mostly with my sister or niece when they want to destress. Adam is a great listener to me and I try to listen to him in the same way he does for me.
- Put yourself in their shoes I am a big believer in this step. If you can put yourself or mindset into their frame of thinking you will create a more peaceful setting.
- Apologize when you KNOW you were WRONG Eating humble pie isn’t the easiest thing to do, but admitting you were wrong when you know you were can certainly defuse situations. You partner may not be the sort of person to do this but at least you will feel better about yourself and how you treat your partner if you do this suggestion.
- Know when to give your partner space There are times when togetherness is wonderful but sometimes, you just need to be on your own. If you feel or are told that you partner needs space, then by all means listen to them or your intuition and leave them alone. When the time is right, they will open up to you when they feel ready. Pushing them into sharing isn’t going foster peace in your relationship, it’s going to foster tension or resentment.
These are my top five tips for perfecting peace in relationships and top four tips of how to be a better partner in your relationship. I may not have all the right answers for you but I do find that these things have helped me forge some long-lasting relationships as well as develop a marriage with a really amazing bloke who I treasure.
Everyday is a blessing. I truly believe that statement. I often sit and go about my day thinking to myself not really voicing what is going around in my over active imaginations because frankly not everyone needs to hear my thoughts although Adam is always asking me what’s going on inside my head. The man not be able to see but he knows me too well. He knows when something inside me is bubbling up and about to explode to the surface.
The past few days I have been a bit edgy. It doesn’t really take much to get me to wanting to bite somethings head off. (I feel like Alice Cooper or Ozzie Osbourne is trying to possess me.) I have this rage inside me that I need to expel so this is why I have decided to write all this crap out bring it to the surface, let it spill onto the webpage for the entire world to see so that I can exorcise the beast out of my system once and for all but I have a feeling it will happen yet again as it is apt to do most especially when someone makes a statement such as: You will never understand. You don’t have kids.
The statement is true to a certain degree but this sort of generalization really burns me up. It makes me so angry. It makes me question myself as a person. Am I less of a person because I haven’t given birth to a child? It’s something that I have always wanted but it hasn’t happened. I have no desire to go for infertility treatment or IVF. I am a firm believer in if it is meant to happen it will happen. I also know I could go the route of adoption or fostering but a part of me thinks that maybe I am not good enough because I was not able to conceive. I know that isn’t true. I probably would make a very good foster-mother because I have a very kind heart. I always dreamed of being a mother. Sometimes though I am glad that I haven’t been pregnant. I won’t get to experience the pain of having to let go of my child. I can remember when Margaret was pregnant with Cassie. It was so beautiful watching her baby move inside her and feel her kicking. I can imagine the feeling but I will never experience it in this life. I am not experiencing life the way other people are blessed with children but then again, they aren’t experiencing my life either. Some may never get to know the kind of love that I have with Adam.
I’ve heard that having a child can make a marriage different. It changes it in such a way that you never really know until it happens to you. I am not going to see any fruit from my marriage to Adam because we haven’t created a new life but in our own sort of way, we have created a life together that is hard to express. I am content with my life with Adam. He’s not your typical bloke. He is sensitive and caring. He can bug the shit out of me and motivate me. I feel as if we make a really great team. I always wanted to find someone I could totally be myself with. I can’t put up walls with him because he knows when I am trying to do that. It’s like he has this inbuilt bulldozer to knock down the barrier I am trying to create. I would be foolish to even try to create such a buffer to him. There is no need for such a creation when you truly love someone who loves you back. There is such transparency between us that I find it hard to believe that other couples don’t have this. They choose to keep parts of themselves separate from their partner. I did that once in another marriage and found it to be exhausting.
I have a very blessed life with a very special man. We may not add to the population of the world but in our own ways, we try to impact our world with positivity and compassion. We reach out to family and friends when they need us in our special ways.
Even with the tragedy that strikes from natural causes or man-made destruction there is something about humanity that still shines through. There is a positivity and compassion to help others that are less fortunate than ourselves. I don’t think it comes from trying to be better than the other person; it comes from recognizing the vulnerability of ourselves through the ones who have suffered the tragedy. There is inherent goodness in us all and we all have a blessed life whether we are called to be parents or uncles or aunties or friend.
Everybody has a certain something that they like to do in the morning. As for me, I don’t really appreciate being woken up by a whining dog but it’s something that I am used to. I can easily go back to sleep. Poor Adam doesn’t have that sort of ability. He will lie in bed with me until he gets uncomfortable but always tries to get out quietly as not to disturb me. I love that about him. He’s such a sweety. If I try to attempt the same strategy, I epically fail 9 out 10 times. The man sleeps lightly. For once, I am not exaggerating.
After getting up, I usually head to the kitchen for breakfast. This morning, I had to grind more coffee for my coffee machine because I only had beans that needed to be ground. I like to have music on so I popped Pandora radio on my iPhone which I put into Adam’s high jacked iPhone speaker because good music needs to be blasted. I danced around the house getting ready to eat. We had to put on our sweats because it was a cool 11 c (51.8 F) in the house. Summer has fled our part the world until probably December. I danced as the coffee grinder ground my delicious smelling coffee which was grown in Mullaway. There is a coffee plantation somewhere in our vicinity. I am so glad we learned of it. I put out our cereal and danced while waiting for Adam to join me at the dining table.
Sometimes I make my coffee after brekky as I did today. Adam went to go have his shower and I drink my coffee while deciding what I want to do next. The thing to do today was sit down and type out this blog. It feels like today is going to be a ripper of a day. I know my mom used to say not to sing before breakfast. I have, so let’s hope I prove that old wives’ tale wrong. I don’t want to cry before supper.
I need to go shower now myself but I really love my morning rituals. My mornings are normally spent waking up listening to Mitch whine at me to be let off so he can go have a pee around 6. I then hop back into to bed for a cuddle with Adam or chit-chat then fall back to sleep but hunger always gets me up. We then go to the kitchen and break our fast with cereal. The dogs then get fed by Adam or myself (usually Adam) and I work on doing my cappuccino in a mug. (Muggaccino) There is normally music playing via the iPhone. I know it’s not that earth shattering or exciting but there is something about it that I like doing.
Some people like to start their day with a run or walk but me, a cup of frothy coffee and cuddles always get my day off to the right start!
Do you have any morning rituals that you love?
I know it’s not like me to do two blogs in one day but something has happened to me and I wanted to share it because it feels special. I would even venture to say extraordinary. I have noticed that things don’t just happen by chance. I am really realizing this today because there are things that I am feeling very bombarded with but not in a bad way.
I read two blogs earlier or maybe even 3 which really affected me. All 3 were written by fellow bloggers whom I really respect and they have a very loving spirit. The first one was by Anne Birkelo http://ambirkelo.wordpress.com/2013/05/15/tuff-enuf/ It was something that I really needed to read at the moment and still struggle with a lot but I am trying to rely more on the wonderful Spirit that our Lord has given us because I am trying to be the person that He wants me to be if I only learn to trust in Him more, to surrender all.
The other blog that I read was by Meg at Firsttimefreedom http://firsttimefreedom.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/brother-and-sister/. This reminded me that we all have family that we love and long to know better but the one that really smacked me upside my head was by Kozo http://everydaygurus.com/2013/05/15/daily-dose-of-vitamin-s/. He posed a really wonderful picture of needing our daily dose of vitamin S. I was trying to think of a really cool response to him but couldn’t think of one when a good friend of mine contacted me on Facebook to let me know that his dad arrived to his home and how happy he was. My friend has a really debilitating autoimmune disorder. His wife is trying to help him with their small children but I think the fact that his father, who traveled all the way to Canada from Australia just to be with them in his most troubled time of need just gave me a wow moment. I am not talking World of Warcraft sort of wow moment but a really goose flesh sort of in awe kind of moment when I knew for certain that there was a higher power out there. I look back on my life and where I thought I was and where I am heading with this hope that I will be able to help others on their journey in this life.
We all need encouragement and the best source I found for encouragement is a good dose of Vitamin S that Kozo blogged about. I found that Vitamin S (the Spirit) while talking with my friend who is in Canada. I try to see the Spirit in every person I encounter and I pray that they will see that same Spirit shining back when they encounter me. I am just a child compared to God and I want to make Him happy because He has blessed me with this wonderful life at this wonderful time. I know I had been very cynical inside but that boost from my friend has buoyed me up as well as these beautiful blogs that I have posted here. I will leave you with a photo I saw on Facebook today.
For those who can not read the image it reads: Dear Lord,
Open my eyes to opportunities to bless others
for Your glory!
A big shout out to http://firsttimefreedom.wordpress.com/ for including me in this game as well as Eddie Tatro.
This is me sitting in front of my computer if I had a webcam set up on my desk. I actually took this snapshot a few months ago but thought I would use this shot for this post since you have to have a pic of yourself. Now you have an idea of where Adam sits in our front room/computer room.
1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.
3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.
4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/Twitter and let them know they’ve been tagged.
Eleven random facts about me:
1. I like awards but hate all the work you have to put into them.
2. Coming up with 10 more things after you have done something like this is no easy feat.
3. I love my nose, it’s not too big or small.
4. One of my breasts is a full cup size bigger than the other.
5. Number 4 was probably too much information but hey I am running out of random facts and I am only at the halfway point.
6. Another beautiful day on the Coffs Coast which started out cloudy.
7. I am working on my horde paladin on Silver Hand. She just turned 88. Two more levels to go.
8. The glass is half full or half empty depending on your attitude.
9. Life is short enjoy it while it lasts.
10. I love making people laugh.
11. I love to sing.
The Questions Firsttimefreedom asked me…….
1. If you had a chance to go back 5 years from today knowing what you know what would you tell yourself? Do not be afraid to try new things
2. If you could go back to one point in history when would it be and why? Actually I am happy to be right here, right now because I am watching history in the process of happening.
3. Who inspires you, be it someone in your life or not? My mom inspired me alot. She had a very loving heart but could be tough as nails too.
4. Three things you love about yourself? I love my eyes, my sense of humor, and my ability to forgive.
5. Who would you love to meet and talk to? Sting, he is an awesome musician/songwriter
6. What music (if any) helps you get through things? The Police or Sting especially Too Much Information it calms me
7. What animal would you like to be and why? Dog, they are loyal and forgiving
8. Why do you blog and does it help you? I blog because I love to share things and experiences with others. I think it does help me because I learn a lot from reading others perspectives.
9. What’s the funniest joke you have ever heard? I always screw up jokes when I retell them so not gonna happen.
10. What brings you the biggest amount of joy? Simple things can bring me a lot of joy like watching my dogs goof around or making friends laugh.
11. What is your favorite sweet snack? Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
My Eleven questions:
1. What’s your least favorite genre of music?
2. Are you colour blind?
3. Do you prefer sunrise or sunset?
4. Do speak a foreign language?
5. Do you want to travel to another country beside the one you were born in?
6. If you had to choose between reggae or country western which would you choose?
7. Do you look up at the stars night?
8. What is your favorite season?
9. Do you like sports?
10. Do you own a dog?
11. Who’s your favorite comedian?
The people I hope will play my little game…
I am only choosing a couple because I have done this sort of thing so many times I don’t want to spread it around like wildfire.
You don’t have to do this but it’d be fun to read your thoughts. Hugs, Dianna
Adam, the dogs, and I walked one of our favorite routes this afternoon. It always seems that when I want to take pictures I never have my camera on me. I did have my iPhone but every time I retrieved my phone the birds or the wildlife would not cooperate with me. I must remember to attach my Kodak to my dog bag so that I will never be in that situation again. Things happen though and sometimes even the best plans go awry.
There was a red and green parrot which I have checked in my bird book which appeared to be a king parrot. The kookaburras were out and about in the crowns of the eucalyptus trees. As we walked on top of Darkum Headland I kept a look out for kangaroos. Since there were none to be seen, I let the dogs off their leads. Normally they run down the side of the headland to jump into the water. Grady took off to fetch a stick. Lenny and Mitch were out of eye shot for a little while. Lenny normally comes bounding back to be loved on by Adam or myself. The two labs had been gone quite a while as I sat throwing the stick that Grady was begging me to throw for him. I looked to the right to see what I thought was a seal in the water. I was calling for Lenny and Mitch like mad. The seal was in one of the dogs most favorite spots to swim. I felt panic rise inside me when Lenny returned to Adam. Grady was guarding his stick. I noticed Mitch trying to swim out to the seal. I asked Adam to lead Lenny while I leaded Grady handing him Grady’s lead because I had to get to Mitch pronto before he tried to terrorize the seal. (I was having flashback to the kangaroo incident.) By the time I was heading down towards Mitch yelling for him to come, he was on top of a rock ledge trying to figure out the best way to get to the seal but he finally decided to come to me to my great relief as I was on the edge of the headland making slow progress to get to him. I put the lead back on him returning to Adam. I noticed that the seal was out ahead of us now straight on. I tried to get my iPhone to take a picture but it was like the seal was camera-shy. I couldn’t get the shot.
I am looking forward to being able to camp up top of Darkum Headland for whale watching. The season begins in June ending in November. I already have the perfect spot in which to set up the tripod with my camera as well as binoculars. I think to make my life easier though, I won’t be taking the dogs with us. It will make my life of eye spy with my lovely blue eyes totally enjoyable as well as stress free. Last year I really loved watching the whales.
We continued our walk to Cabins Beach with the dogs on lead. Once we got to the bottom of the stairs, we let the dogs free run for a bit. I normally want to get them back on lead as we head on the path to go to Mullaway Tourist Park because it’s just easier to get home that way instead of traipsing up the sandy side of the walkway that used to be very easy to go up and down with. The beach was very pebbly. I also saw lots of shell washed up in bits and pieces but found a few little treasures to take home with me.
After we left the Tourist Park, we walked down the Boulevard to get home. I notice two eastern Rosella perched on a bush. I grabbed my iPhone only to discover they had disappeared.
This is why I have decided to call this blog no pictures please because the birds and seal were very elusive today. They didn’t want to be photographed. I do remember the snapshots in my head. Better luck next time I hope! Thanks for reading!
It’s Mother’s Day now in most places of the world. I mowed the lawn today. I know that to some this may seem a sacrilege but to me it’s a way I choose to honour my mom and Adam’s mum because they are both gone now but they did love a tidy lawn. I have mixed emotions on days like this because I can’t hug or call my mom anymore. Some days I feel her presence so close and other days I don’t feel her at all. Both our mum’s loved roses. I can remember buying rose bushes for my mom and planting them on Mother’s Day.
Mothers hold a very special place in our hearts. I know of some people who yearn to have a good relationship with their mother but I was a fortunate child. I was close to my mom. I watch my sisters with their child(ren) and I wish I had that sort of relationship too but it just wasn’t in the cards for me.
Some mothers foster love and others foster hate which is a very sad thing in my eyes. Maybe I should rephrase that, some mothers foster a twisted sort of love that creates fear and apprehension. I think that happens when they haven’t experienced a loving home themselves growing up but perhaps I am wrong and being too judgemental.
I can only be thankful that I had a wonderful mother who did the best for me and fostered a loving heart in me. She taught me some wonderful things and to be appreciative of the life that I have.
Thank you all the mothers in the world for teaching your children love to the best of your ability. May the Lord always bless you and guide you on your journey in this life.
It’s one of those days. It’s one of those days when you think one thing and the exact opposite happens. This is not a happy moment. This is frustration beyond words. This is thinking one thing and finding out you didn’t do something right. You thought you were on the right path but no, you took the wrong turn.
I know I can be a harsh critic. I am the worst critic of myself and today I am thinking there is nothing I can do right. I could have sworn I had signed up to complete a job today but no it was yesterday. It’s almost like groundhog day with Bill Murray except I am Bill Murray’s character with boobs and a sweeter voice. I was flabbergasted when I finished up an email to a friend to see that a job I was about to do had been pulled from me. I frantically picked up the phone to call work to find out what I had done wrong. My supervisor told me I had not completed a job which I responded back, but I was doing it today. She said you must have forgotten to change it on the page. I was devastated because I try to complete things in a timely manner. I even said to Adam I am going to do this job on the 10th because I don’t want to do two jobs in one day but I didn’t do it. It didn’t sound right but obviously, I must have.
I am too young for dementia aren’t I? I know I will be turning 45 next month but that’s too young! The other day I was signing up to start a new business and put in credit card details but somehow the details got saved wrong. I know I put in Mastercard and not Visa I had a witness who could see right beside me. My friend calls the place to help me sort the error out but the guy on the phone insisted I had inputted wrong. I was trying my best not to curse out the guy or the friend who is trying to help me. I keep wondering what the hell am I doing? It all worked out in the end but I swear maybe this week is going to be that sort of week and it’s not just a day but a whole week of wrong turns.
I guess I am making a mountain out of a molehill but at the moment my thoughts are making me edgy. I will leave you with this song which relaxes me. I find it soothing to me. I hope you like it too and remember just breathe when it gets overwhelming. Things will get better when you least expect it.
I woke up this morning to find another nomination for me from Looking for reasons to a complicated world @ http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/the-abc-award/. I know I need to do more acceptances and am very tempted to just do a combination of acceptance for the huge pile I have stacked up. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful because I am honoured to be thought of so highly I just get super distracted with other things. Isn’t that always the way though?
I thought I might just surprised the hell out of Mr Shauny G and get this sucker done pronto! HA HA! I will reveal the rules to you now:
The rules of this award are:
- Add the ABC logo to your blog. (You can find the logo above, I just copied and pasted it from my nomination.)
- ABC about yourself using one word or phrase.
- Nominate however many blogs you wish.
- Let the recipient know via a link in their comments.
My list about myself from A – Z
E. Eloquent at times
P. Perky personality
S. Sneaky when I want to be
X. xenomania ( A mania for, or an inordinate attachment to, foreign customs, institutions, manners, fashions, etc.)
Y. Youthful in spirit
And the nominations now go to:
I know I could list heaps but I am opting to do 3. We all have busy lives. I think these 3 will pass the joy around!
Charlotte, I love your spirit! Rachie, I love your craftiness! Meg, I love your spunkiness! Keep up the great work! I hope you like the award! I thought it was pretty fun to do!