Transparency and Compartmentalization can they coexist? I often wonder if that is a contradiction or a mere fact. The reason why I say this is because I like to think I can be very transparent but I can also compartmentalize a lot of things in my life. There are certain things that I want to share with my husband and do but he just doesn’t get what I am trying to share. I end up filing it away into the just for me compartment.
I also find that there are certain things I don’t share with certain people outside my marriage. I know I act certain ways in front of them because I don’t think it’s appropriate to be my true self. If I am in a church crowd, I won’t be throwing the f bomb around at all. I won’t let the dirty Dianna come out to play. The grot in me stays tightly locked away from being exposed even if I feel like letting a f word escape. Shit has passed my lips in a lapse of judgement but that is not very often.
Some things are best left to be in compartments but then you wonder what others are thinking so you end up exposing yourself a bit more. I know I do at least. If I think that what I have exposed has in any way compromised myself, I just put it back in the box so to speak. If I know the person doesn’t like what I have tried to share, I will file it away in the do not disturb ever again compartment.
There are some things you share only with family. There are some things you don’t want to share with family. There are things that you share with certain friends but you would never share with one in particular because it’s such a tricky slippery slope you will go on if you do. Surely I am not the only person to have these thoughts or asked these questions. I just choose to express them in a blog which is helping me to come to a certain conclusion.
For me transparency and compartmentalization can co-exist. I suppose it’s a lot like that line from Salt N Peppa’s rap song None Of Your Business which says: “Opinions are like assholes and everybody’s got one”. In each compartment that I have created in my life there is transparency which I strive for because no one really likes a liar. It makes life less complicated because the truth is much simpler to remember than a lie!