It’s been pretty quiet on the Yaussiechick wordpress site. I know I have been very silent with my blog for a while now. I always like doing the Monthly Peace challenge that Kozo Hattori puts out and the month of October is almost done. I haven’t written a word about this challenge. I have been grappling with it for almost the entire month though trying to think of something provocative to say but sometimes I strive to do something and fail epically. I do want to write something though so here goes my attempt.
My dream of peace for our world isn’t very original. It has probably been stated before in more grandeur ways. On Sunday I was lazing around watching a documentary that Tom Shadyac had made entitled: I AM. In this documentary he actually made some very valid points about changing our world. It also falls in line with what we peace bloggers are trying to do and that is create a world of peace.
Imagine a world where Cooperation is the normal and not competition. Imagine a world where Compassion spreads across the world like a bushfire and not greed. If only we could make that change happen NOW, then the world could be transformed. In my dream world this is the alternative. In my world, it has happened and I can try and transform the world that I am living in today by remembering that living my life in cooperation, compassionately and valuing sharing instead of striving to be the best at all costs, I will be able to impact the world I am in RIGHT NOW.
The greatest philosophers and religious leaders know that in order for humanity to continue there needs to be cooperation and compassion. Jesus Christ, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, and the Dalai Lama speak of change through peaceful ways. They were seen as radicals of their time but they impacted the world they lived in one day at time and look at the legacy they have given us.
My dream world of peace which I hope to live by in reality revolves around cooperation, compassion, and most importantly sharing love. The following are other dreams of peace:
Everyday is a blessing. I truly believe that statement. I often sit and go about my day thinking to myself not really voicing what is going around in my over active imaginations because frankly not everyone needs to hear my thoughts although Adam is always asking me what’s going on inside my head. The man not be able to see but he knows me too well. He knows when something inside me is bubbling up and about to explode to the surface.
The past few days I have been a bit edgy. It doesn’t really take much to get me to wanting to bite somethings head off. (I feel like Alice Cooper or Ozzie Osbourne is trying to possess me.) I have this rage inside me that I need to expel so this is why I have decided to write all this crap out bring it to the surface, let it spill onto the webpage for the entire world to see so that I can exorcise the beast out of my system once and for all but I have a feeling it will happen yet again as it is apt to do most especially when someone makes a statement such as: You will never understand. You don’t have kids.
The statement is true to a certain degree but this sort of generalization really burns me up. It makes me so angry. It makes me question myself as a person. Am I less of a person because I haven’t given birth to a child? It’s something that I have always wanted but it hasn’t happened. I have no desire to go for infertility treatment or IVF. I am a firm believer in if it is meant to happen it will happen. I also know I could go the route of adoption or fostering but a part of me thinks that maybe I am not good enough because I was not able to conceive. I know that isn’t true. I probably would make a very good foster-mother because I have a very kind heart. I always dreamed of being a mother. Sometimes though I am glad that I haven’t been pregnant. I won’t get to experience the pain of having to let go of my child. I can remember when Margaret was pregnant with Cassie. It was so beautiful watching her baby move inside her and feel her kicking. I can imagine the feeling but I will never experience it in this life. I am not experiencing life the way other people are blessed with children but then again, they aren’t experiencing my life either. Some may never get to know the kind of love that I have with Adam.
I’ve heard that having a child can make a marriage different. It changes it in such a way that you never really know until it happens to you. I am not going to see any fruit from my marriage to Adam because we haven’t created a new life but in our own sort of way, we have created a life together that is hard to express. I am content with my life with Adam. He’s not your typical bloke. He is sensitive and caring. He can bug the shit out of me and motivate me. I feel as if we make a really great team. I always wanted to find someone I could totally be myself with. I can’t put up walls with him because he knows when I am trying to do that. It’s like he has this inbuilt bulldozer to knock down the barrier I am trying to create. I would be foolish to even try to create such a buffer to him. There is no need for such a creation when you truly love someone who loves you back. There is such transparency between us that I find it hard to believe that other couples don’t have this. They choose to keep parts of themselves separate from their partner. I did that once in another marriage and found it to be exhausting.
I have a very blessed life with a very special man. We may not add to the population of the world but in our own ways, we try to impact our world with positivity and compassion. We reach out to family and friends when they need us in our special ways.
Even with the tragedy that strikes from natural causes or man-made destruction there is something about humanity that still shines through. There is a positivity and compassion to help others that are less fortunate than ourselves. I don’t think it comes from trying to be better than the other person; it comes from recognizing the vulnerability of ourselves through the ones who have suffered the tragedy. There is inherent goodness in us all and we all have a blessed life whether we are called to be parents or uncles or aunties or friend.