A Blessed Life


Everyday is a blessing. I truly believe that statement. I often sit and go about my day thinking to myself not really voicing what is going around in my over active imaginations because frankly not everyone needs to hear my thoughts although Adam is always asking me what’s going on inside my head. The man not be able to see but he knows me too well. He knows when something inside me is bubbling up and about to explode to the surface.

The past few days I have been a bit edgy. It doesn’t really take much to get me to wanting to bite somethings head off. (I feel like Alice Cooper or Ozzie Osbourne is trying to possess me.) I have this rage inside me that I need to expel so this is why I have decided to write all this crap out bring it to the surface, let it spill onto the webpage for the entire world to see so that I can exorcise the beast out of my system once and for all but I have a feeling it will happen yet again as it is apt to do most especially when someone makes a statement such as: You will never understand. You don’t have kids.

The statement is true to a certain degree but this sort of generalization really burns me up. It makes me so angry. It makes me question myself as a person. Am I less of a person because I haven’t given birth to a child? It’s something that I have always wanted but it hasn’t happened. I have no desire to go for infertility treatment or IVF. I am a firm believer in if it is meant to happen it will happen. I also know I could go the route of adoption or fostering but a part of me thinks that maybe I am not good enough because I was not able to conceive. I know that isn’t true. I probably would make a very good foster-mother because I have a very kind heart. I always dreamed of being a mother. Sometimes though I am glad that I haven’t been pregnant. I won’t get to experience the pain of having to let go of my child.  I can remember when Margaret was pregnant with Cassie. It was so beautiful watching her baby move inside her and feel her kicking. I can imagine the feeling but I will never experience it in this life. I am not experiencing life the way other people are blessed with children but then again, they aren’t experiencing my life either. Some may never get to know the kind of love that I have with Adam.

I’ve heard that having a  child can make a marriage different. It changes it in such a way that you never really know until it happens to you. I am not going to see any fruit from my marriage to Adam because we haven’t created a new life but in our own sort of way, we have created a life together that is hard to express. I am content with my life with Adam. He’s not your typical bloke. He is sensitive and caring. He can bug the shit out of me and motivate me. I feel as if we make a really great team. I always wanted to find someone I could totally be myself with. I can’t put up walls with him because he knows when I am trying to do that. It’s like he has this inbuilt bulldozer to knock down the barrier I am trying to create. I would be foolish to even try to create such a buffer to him. There is no need for such a creation when you truly love someone who loves you back. There is such transparency between us that I find it hard to believe that other couples don’t have this. They choose to keep parts of themselves separate from their partner. I did that once in another marriage and found it to be exhausting.

I have a very blessed life with a very special man. We may not add to the population of the world but in our own ways, we try to impact our world with positivity and compassion. We reach out to family and friends when they need us in our special ways.

Even with the tragedy that strikes from natural causes or man-made destruction there is something about humanity that still shines through. There is a positivity and  compassion to help others that are less fortunate than ourselves. I don’t think it comes from trying to be better than the other person; it comes from recognizing the vulnerability of ourselves through the ones who have suffered the tragedy. There is inherent goodness in us all and we all have a blessed life whether we are called to be parents or uncles or aunties or friend.

 

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About yaussiechick

Dual citizen of Australia and America loving life and wanting to share my love of writing and life with others.

Posted on May 22, 2013, in humor, Narrative, Spirituality, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. globetrottermama

    You are most definitely not less of a person just because you have not had children. Wisdom comes with experience. Were you not a child once? That should be sufficient to understand children at least from an emotional perspective. That type of comment is simply defensive and clearly has nothing to do with your lack of knowledge on parenting. You must have hit a nerve with whatever you said. You’re a good person. Don’t let one person’s insecurities affect you. Smile and remain the ever cheerful Yaussie that I know you to be. Much love!

  2. prayingforoneday

    You will never understand. You don’t have kids. < Is true. You may dislike it. But unless you have kids, you don't understand the emotions that it brings xx
    If you feel like me saying that " For Example" is making you feel like less a person, am sorry, the issue is with you x Truly. I would never say a word to hurt or mock or anger anyone, let alone you. I say this now, as I often say these words. But so do hundreds of other people here. You are not less a person, you just don't have kids. If this is an issue in your life, then, nobody can help it.
    Turn the coin round, when people say "I am away from a 2 hour walk with my Dog" do I take that is an insult because I can't? No. never, I just get a bit jealous lol My Dad does it to me often as you know. But he mocks to make me smile and see the funny side of it you know. We all walk a different path, think different.

    You say you have anger? Well, its a pointless anger, the only person you can snap at and hurt is Adam and your dogs and maybe a neighbour, lol..I get angry a lot because of my life and the being unable to sleep, have sex as I would like to, shower with EASE and other simple things. But I can't vent that anger, as It would be aimed at the people I claim to love.

    And having kids 1000% changed a marriage/relationship, as sleep doesn;t happen much, lol. I am sorry you never had a child D. If Deep down you did, then that isn't cool. I am sorry.
    But people with kids can't walk on egg shells because of it. You know what I mean, as I know what you meant when you said you dislike people who say "You will never understand. You don’t have kids"

    In like. we say what we mean and mean what we say. Otherwise we are liars to ourselves… Just saying

    Beautiful song by the way…saved and bookmarked …

    Love and hugs xx
    Your bud in a skirt x

    • You have your opinion Shaun, and I have mine. I was just expressing myself which you are doing as well. I am not less of a person because I am childless. I was expressing a momentary thought which you do as well. It just wasn’t in the cards for me. I will never know what it is like to have a child or have that sort of bond. Being a father is totally different to being a mother. You watched the pregnancies but you didn’t actually go through the whole gambit of having that life grow inside of you. Maybe part of my anger is jealousy disguised and I find that sometimes I am still going through a grieving process which I akin to you when you realize you won’t be able to coach. It’s something that you always dreamed of but it just isn’t going to happen.

      My feelings and the way I choose to express them is not wrong and you may see it as pointless. I don’t go snapping or hurting Adam or my dogs or a neighbour because why should I do that? It’s not their fault that I haven’t had a child. I chose to express my feelings through a blog instead of letting it fester inside of me. I do feel better now that I have gotten it out of my system.

      Thanks for sharing your view!
      Hugs,
      Dianna

      • prayingforoneday

        Aww..I knew I would come across all wrong..
        You know I would never talk down to you “YOU” Ever..
        Maybe you do have feeling of sadness you didn’t have kids. If you do, you keep them well hidden. And I will never go through the carrying and growing of a child in me, but the worry of the two people is something. lol

        I am glad you blogged this. I felt when you said “People saying you don’t understand because you didn’t have children” was kinda aimed at me..I am sorry for assuming this. I never throw having kids at anyone. My Sister Linda on my Facebook tried with 2 different men to get pregnant and spent 10s of thousands of pounds trying, only for both men to leave her. The last one had an affair and got a woman pregnant. That almost killer her. She moved to Normandy in France to get away from him and the family. She was ashamed. She sooo wanted a kid. But when she is with my kids or cousins etc, she shows love and never feels bad. She is happier now. She is living it up. She is only a few years older than me. So I know the hurt well. When someone in your blood group, family hurts, you do also.

        Anyway, good on your blogging this. If there was an issue in your mind, even really deep in your mind, it is now out. “IF”…I am sorry if you thought I was throwing it back in your face.
        We are friends, we speak often, I love you, I wouldn’t know how to use words to hurt you. You know this right? If you don’t you do now. Anything I ever say is taken by the other person they way they want to hear it as opposed to the way I say it..or blog it, or write it..

        I love you like a sister..

        x

      • It took me a while to calm down after I first read your response at 5:30 this morning my time. I love you too like a brother and know how much you love a good debate. My response was actually the calmest out of what I wanted to write but there is no hard feelings on my side. I know where you are coming from and now you know where I am coming from. we all feel what we feel and I know you were coming from a good place in your heart. Hugs, Dianna

      • prayingforoneday

        Always…..Anger was not an emotion I tried to provoke neither was it an emotion I had. I read it wrong. I guess…And gave my opinion. As we all do here. We are friends enough I believe to know neither of us would say unfair things about each other.
        I am a “Say what you mean, Mean what you say” kinda guy. Same as you, Guy part aside.. lol
        Honesty is always the best policy..If something is on my mind, I used to blog it. If something was on my mind regarding a person or an issue, I speak to the person. I know we can do that.

        Speak soon

        x

  3. prayingforoneday

    Shaun here.
    Please accept this award please
    “MOST INFLUENTIAL BLOGGER AWARD”
    Please pass it to as many people as you live 1, 5, 10, 20, your choice!
    http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/05/23/most-influential-blogger-award-2/

  4. prayingforoneday

    By the way..I totally love that song!!!

    x

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